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A Forum For South African's to say what they feel
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| Is this the end for South Africa? |
| Yes |
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| No |
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| I Dont Care |
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| Who cares - blame Apartheid |
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| Total Votes : 2 |
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lofty
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:50 pm Post subject: Is this the end for South Africa? |
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SOUTH AFRICA UPDATE!
We don’t have enough power to run the country. As a result, each area has been allocated a 2.5 hour “load shedding” slot during the day (sometimes twice a day) when your electricity will be cut so that the rest of the country can carry on… The gold mines have been shut down for a week, so our load shedding has not been so bad… now there are thousands of workers not being paid, never mind the millions being lost in revenue from the gold and platinum not being produced.
Eskom (our electricity producer) has told government not to attract any more international business investment as they can not cope with any extra power usage.
They are suddenly facing the repercussion of their BEE program (ethnic cleansing)… All the qualified, experienced whites have been given the boot only to be replaced by a black person who may have qualifications but that means nothing without experience. The newly qualified whites can’t get jobs here so they are going overseas, and now we have to look at bringing back the retired “old school” experienced operators to patch up the problems created by these idiots - and import skills from overseas while our home grown skills are shipping out!
To top it off, we still think we can handle the 2010 soccer world cup… ?? what a joke.
Don’t worry though – it is all the whites fault - 'Apartheid planning resulted in blackouts' http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20080205062606498C840787
Sewerage plants cant cope so they are just pumping raw sewerage back into the rivers… the next problem now is that we will run out of clean drinking water as the dams fill up with crap.
Our next president was let off on rape charges because the court said she wanted it…
| Quote: | During his rape trial, Zuma took a "short skirt" excuse, claiming it was his duty as a Zulu warrior to have sex with a woman if she wore a short kanga (an African wrap), and that he could not leave her "unfulfilled."
Zuma told the court that he knew the woman was "clearly aroused" by the fact that her kanga was "quite short" — meaning knee-length.
"In the Zulu culture, you cannot just leave a woman if she is ready," he explained.
According to his defense team, Zulu men have sexual primacy over women. Therefore, he could not be guilty.
"To deny her sex, that would have been tantamount to rape," Zuma claimed. |
| Quote: | But was Zuma, the former head of the National AIDS Council in a country where one in seven citizens are HIV-positive, and aware of the woman's HIV-positive status, concerned about unprotected sex?
"I had a shower afterwards," Zuma explained after announcing that he had chosen not to use a condom. |
He was accused of corruption, something to do with stealing money from an arms deal, but only his accomplices are in jail – he was not found guilty.
| Quote: |
A recent KPMG auditing report alleges that the man at the center of the defense-contract scandal, fraud convict Schabir Shaik, spent over $21 million on Zuma's children, including allowances, cars and cash payment for a wedding.
The report also suggests that Shaik and his companies footed the bill for Zuma's household and travel expenses.
Zuma faces 16 charges, including one charge of racketeering, two counts of corruption, one count of money laundering and 12 counts of fraud.
Ironically, Zuma's problems have only increased his support among the poverty-stricken and the oppressed. |
He has at least 4 wives, 2 girlfriends, and 20 children (maybe these numbers have increased since my last update) and is a self-proclaimed polygamist
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In the most recent installment on his path to the South African presidency, one that could be mistaken for an episode of HBO's "Big Love," Zuma took his fourth wife over the weekend.
Zuma has an estimated 20 children by six different women. His eldest wife, Sizakele Khumao, has renounced her "first lady" status in favor of his new 33-year-old wife.
A former wife, Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma, is South Africa's foreign minister and a potential political rival. Another wife killed herself in 2000. |
Jacob's favorite song, sung at all official parliamentary openings, rallies and just about everywhere he goes: "Bring me my machine gun"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hscwpS0s2wc
and dont forget to get the ringtone:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STcJqRg-lj8
So, what do we think of South Africa now?
FASTEN YOUR SEATBELTS, HANG ON AND ENJOY THE RIDE!
Hope you enjoyed my bitch and moan! See you in AUS! |
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lofty
Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:37 am Post subject: Please Bring Jacob Zuma his machine gun! |
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| Quote: | Why, in the name of God, won't someone bring Jacob Zuma his machine gun? I can no longer stand by and watch the man suffer like this. Has he not been through enough?
There is an organisation called the Friends of Jacob Zuma, and yet not one of its members is willing to do as he asks. Some friends.
Jacob Zuma has anywhere between two and five wives. But what good is that if none will go the extra mile? Who brings him his pint of Ijuba after another exhausting live concert outside the Pietermartizburg High Court? As a proud Zulu man, he cannot be expected to fetch his own sorghum beer and automatic weapon.
Jacob Zuma is clearly someone who treasures his machine gun above all else. So what of it? He doesn't ask for much. All he wants is his machine gun.
And maybe the presidency.
I don't want to sound churlish, but it might help if he told us where he left the damn thing. It must be somewhere. He definitely started out with one, otherwise he would be singing, "bring me a machine gun". By referring to his machine gun in the possessive, he is telling us that he already has one, but that he has either mislaid it or somebody has moved it from where he last saw it.
Perhaps his machine gun is at his mother-in-law's house. Maybe he can't remember which mother-in-law.
Maybe none of them ever want to see him again after that nasty business with the woman, and he is too afraid to call them up and ask if any of them have seen his machine gun.
If I got bust cheating on Brenda, I wouldn't dare phone her mother and ask if I could come around and pick up that half bottle of absinthe I left behind when we had the wake for her brother.
I know what Jacob Zuma is going through. Some of you will snort and say that a white man can never put himself in a black man's shoes. Well, let me tell you something. Loss is a great unifier. Loss transcends race. It is only through loss that we all stand naked before our gods.
And while I am grateful that Jacob Zuma has so far managed to keep his clothes on, I do feel his pain. When I was little, I had a teddy. This was one of the privileges that white boys enjoyed at the expense of other ethnic groups and I am not proud of it.
I lost this teddy through circumstances that I am not yet ready to talk about. It is enough to say that the loss left me devastated. Brenda tells me that some nights I still shout out in my sleep, "Bring me my teddy bear!" If I had grown up speaking isiZulu, I would shout out, "Awuleth' teddy bear wam!" Again, this shows that loss transcends even language barriers.
So let nobody dare tell me I don't know what it is like to lose something dear to me. It does not matter whether it is a machine gun or a one-eyed teddy with a tear in his bum. The overwhelming sense of loss is the same.
This is why I say that if anybody out there has Jacob Zuma's machine gun, or knows of its whereabouts, I implore you to take it to him. If you don't have transport, please contact me and I will arrange for it to be collected. I am even prepared to pick it up myself.
However, I am not all that keen on delivering it personally. If I had been looking for my machine gun for as long as he has, I would want to use it immediately.
I have long since given up on ever seeing my teddy again, but I will not rest until Jacob Zuma is reunited with his machine gun.
I am sure I am not alone when I say I live for the day that our future president stands up and sings:
"Bring me my machine gun
do not hold me back.
Bring me my machine gun
or I will blow my stack.
Bring me my …
Oh. Thank you.
It's about bloody time.
Now I have my machine gun
I am going to need some bullets."
Ted and I got together over a case of Cobra this past weekend to come up with ways of helping Jacob Zuma. Ted suggested we hire a psychic. "Maybe she can tell us where he left it," he said.
I said it would be easier to find another machine gun and give it to Jacob Zuma for Christmas. Another great idea, another case of beer.
"I know where to go," said Ted.
The first taxi driver we accosted obligingly reached under his back seat and brought out an AK-47. "This isn't technically a machine gun, is it?" asked Ted.
"So what?" I snapped. "Should we get him a Gatling gun? A water-cooled Browning? Those things weigh a ton. How is he going to dance?"
The aspiring arms dealer gave us the Kalashnikov for R150 and two cigarettes and we drove home terrifying the life out of pedestrians and BMW drivers.
In celebratory mood, we cracked open another case and I did an impromptu Zuma shuffle, stopping only after it became painfully obvious that white men lack both rhythm and stamina.
Comrade Jacob, if you are reading this, your machine gun, well, submachine gun, is on its way. I don't expect anything in return. Actually, I have taken quite a shine to defence, so "Terror" Lekota's post might be nice. I'll keep 2009 free. |
http://www.capetimes.co.za/index.php?fArticleId=3434319  |
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